Who is the one person that you would really like to know what they are thinking (as far as how they

I never really could understand what Her Ladyship thought of me, what she saw in me.

I know... She's something that belongs to the past and I should let it rest, especially seeing that now things are so different for me, now I can look into the blue eyes of a man who is a part of me and see his soul so clearly it never fails to take my breath away.

But still...

What was she thinking every time I had her against a tree or pulled her into the hut and pushed her down into the straw mattress? And why did she keep coming back for more? There had to be something behind that smooth face of her, behind those eyes that would never meet mine...

I guess that the reason why I want to know is that I always hoped she saw more in me than a body giving her pleasure, but then I guess I'm better off not knowing what she thought of me.